Megatron Gets An Anal Probe (A South Park Parody)
by Kingstriker
Summary: TF: Prime AU. Parody of the first episode of South Park "Cartman Gets An Anal Probe". After Megatron is abducted by alien drones and probed, Optimus, Soundwave and Ironhide must find a way to stop an alien invasion that is threatening to destroy Iacon and also must get Ironhide's little brother Bumblebee back from the drones. South Park belongs to its creators and Comedy Central.


_**HELLO FEMMES AND MECHS, KINGSTRIKER THE INSANE VEHICON IS BACK! THIS TIME, I HAVE ANOTHER PARODY! IT'S TIME FOR SOUTH PARK! This is based on the first episode of South Park, "Cartman gets an anal probe". It took awhile to decide who should be which character. Of course since I'm using Transformers characters, some scenes and dialogue will be altered or deleted. And any major inappropriate words will be edited. Only read this if you've seen the episode...or you're just a big South Park fan like me.**_

_**Main Cast list:**_

_**Soundwave (TFP)-Kenny**_

_**Optimus (TFP)-Stan**_

_**Ironhide (Movies)-Kyle**_

_**Megatron (TFP)-Cartman**_

_**Vehicons (TFP)-Aliens**_

_**Bumblebee (TFP)-Ike**_

_**Ultra Magnus (TFP)-Mr. Garrison**_

_**Arcee (TFP)-Wendy**_

_**Alpha Trion (TFP)-Ms. Crabtree**_

_**Jazz (Movies)-Chef**_

_**And a few others who may also play some roles as well. I didn't have anything good enough to use for some scenes s**__**o I kinda went around them but got main points made. It's a shame Butters was only seen in the classroom. SOUTH PARK BELONGS TO TREY PARKER, MATT STONE AND COMEDY CENTRAL! NOT EVERY SCENE OR LINE IS INCLUDED!**_

_**Antasma: Of course Kingstriker owns this parody.**_

_**Me: Ah, Antasma! The bat king himself from Mario and Luigi Dream Team! I'm guessing you're a South Park fan too?**_

_**Antasma: Yep! SCREEEE! Vell, vhat are you vaiting for? Start the story! SKREEEEK!**_

* * *

Megatron Gets An Anal Probe (A South Park Parody)

**_Kingstriker: I'm goin' down to Iacon gonna have myself a time!_**

**_Optimus and Ironhide: Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation!_**

**_Kingstriker: I'm goin' down to Iacon gonna leave my woes behind!_**

**_Megatron: Ample parking day or night, people spouting HOWDY NEIGHBOR!_**

**_Kingstriker: I'm headin' down to Iacon gonna see if I can't unwind!_**

**_Soundwave: *Plays a recording of Kenny McCormick's first lines*_**

**_Kingstriker: So come on down to Iacon and meet some friends of mine!_**

One morning, Optimus, Megatron, Ironhide and Soundwave were standing at the bus stop waiting for the bus and singing a song. Younglings didn't have the ability to transform yet.

"School day, school day, teacher's golden ru-"

A little sparkling named Bumblebee bounces over to Ironhide.

"Aw damn it, my little brother is trying to follow me to school again." Ironhide groaned.

Bumblebee babbles at bit before Ironhide yells at him again.

"Bumblebee, you can't come to school with me."

Bumblebee bounces over to Megatron.

"Yeah, go home you little scraplet!" Megatron sneers.

"Dude, don't call my brother a scraplet!" Ironhide snarled.

"What's a scraplet again?" Optimus tilted his head.

"I don't know, AND I'LL BET MEGATRON DOESN'T KNOW EITHER!"

"I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS!"

"WELL, WHAT?"

"...I'm not telling you."

"What's a scraplet Soundwave?" Optimus asked.

Soundwave pulls up info on a scraplet on his visor. Everyone but Ironhide laughs as Bumblebee bounces back to Ironhide.

"Yep, that's what Ironhide's little brother is all right." Megatron laughs.

Ironhide takes Bumblebee and smacks Megatron to the ground using his brother like a stick.

"Dude, that kicks aft!" Optimus said.

"Yeah, check this one out, READY BEE! KICK THE SPARKLING!"

"Don't kick the sparkling!" Bumblebee protests.

Ironhide kicks Bumblebee across the street into some mailboxes. Megatron yawns.

"Whoa Megatron, looks like you didn't get much sleep last night." Optimus said.

"Well I was having these bogus nightmares."

"Really, what about?" Ironhide asked.

"Well, I had a dream that I was lying in my bed, in the dark, when all of a sudden this bright blue light filled the room." Megatron began.

_Megatron sees some alien drones come into his room and take him. He's dragged down a long hallway and is placed on a operating table. The drones began to stick something up his-_

"WHOA MEGATRON! THAT WASN'T A DREAM, THOSE WERE ALIEN DRONES!" Optimus stopped him.

"Yeah, they abduct people and kill Insecticons." Ironhide cut in.

"Aw shut up you guys, you're just trying to make me scared. And it's not working." Megatron scoffed.

Just then, Jazz, their older friend, raced up and transformed.

"Hello there younglings." Jazz greeted.

"Hey Jazz!" They all said together.

"Did you guys see those alien drones last night?" Jazz asked.

"Yeah, fat boy saw them!" Ironhide said.

"No...it was just a dream! AND I'M NOT FAT I'M JUST BUFF!" Megatron studdered.

"And they took him to their ship!" Optimus added.

"Oh, did they give you an anal probe?" Jazz asked.

"What's that?" Optimus asked.

"It's where they stick this metal device up your aft!" Jazz explained.

"HAH, ALIENS STUFFED STUFF UP YOUR ASS!" Optimus laughed.

"SHUT UP! IT WAS JUST A DREAM! NOTHING HAPPENED TO MY AFT!" Megatron snarled.

"Well I got to go, be careful with that device Megatron!" Jazz said as he transformed and left.

Optimus, Ironhide and Soundwave laughed at Megatron until the bus came!

"Good morning Mr. Trion!" Optimus greeted Alpha Trion the bus driver.

"SIT DOWN! WE'RE RUNNING LATE!" Alpha Trion grumbled.

Bumblebee tried to get on but Ironhide kicked him through the bus windows and Bee flew back outside instead. As the bus took off, Bumblebee just stood their confused.

"Damn it, he's still there." Ironhide growled.

"Dude, stop worrying about him." Optimus sighed.

"Dude, if something happens to them, my parents are going to blame me." Ironhide said.

"SIT DOWN BACK THERE!" The Alpha Trion snarled.

"Yeah whatever ya old crankshaft!" Optimus sneered.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

"I SAID GRIMLOCK ATE MY HOMEWORK!" Optimus yelled back.

"Oh."

"OH MY PRIMUS!" Ironhide yelled looking through the back window.

Bumblebee is being taken by some alien drones. Ironhide runs to Alpha Trion to get him to stop the bus. But he threatens him with an office referral.

"No I don't want one of those."

"THEN SIT DOWN!"

"But I-"

Alpha Trion puts on the breaks sending Ironhide flying back to his seat horrified while Optimus yells to Megatron.

"MEGATRON, ARE THOSE THE SAME ONES YOU SAW?"

"STOP TRYING TO SCARE ME!" Megatron growled.

"We have to do something!" Ironhide said.

"Well we would, but that old crankshaft won't let us!"

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

"I SAID MAGOLOR IS THE BEST KIRBY VILLIAN!"

"Oh. Well yes he certainly is." Alpha Trion agreed before making a sharp right tossing the younglings to the left side of the bus.

"How could this get any worse?" Ironhide groaned.

Optimus farts.

"You farted."

They all start laughing. Meanwhile, a large group of Insecticons were racing away from a few alien spaceships that were chasing them. Barricade had been assigned to chase them down before they caused havoc. At school, Ultra Magnus was teaching the students about something. Younglings like Shockwave, Starscream, Dreadwing, SkyQuake, Predaking, Knock Out, Breakdown and Arcee were present. Optimus and Ironhide weren't paying attention to Magnus.

"Dude, I need to get out of here. We need to find Bumblebee."

"Okay dude."

"No it's not okay, when I get home, my parents are going to say, What happened Ironhide? Where is Bumblebee Ironhide? You were supposed to look out for him Ironhide. WHERE HAS THAT FINGER BEEN IRONHIDE?"

"DUDE!"

"Ironhide, is there something you'd like to say to the class?" Ultra Magnus asked.

"MY BROTHER WAS KIDNAPPED BY ALIEN DRONES!" Ironhide said.

"..."

"IT'S TRUE! ASK MEGATRON! THEY GAVE HIM AN ANAL PROBE!"

"That's enough nonsense, now PAY ATTENTION!" Magnus scolded him.

"HA-HA! MAGNUS YELLED AT YOU!" Megatron teased.

_**CHOOF!**_

"OW MY AFT!"

Megatron had just farted fire out of his butt shocking everyone. He kept doing it a few more times before accidentally lighting Starscream on fire who was quickly put out. Later at lunch, they were all in line when Ironhide began complaining again.

"Dude, I need to go now! But no one believes me." Ironhide groaned.

"Don't worry, we'll find a way." Optimus assured and Soundwave nodded.

"Hey look it's Arcee!" Ironhide pointed out.

"WHAT! WHERE?" Optimus shoved them all out of the way.

Arcee was just coming over with her lunch and smiled at them. Optimus' mouth made a huge smile that extended up to his optics.

"Optimus wants to kiss Arcee." Megatron giggled.

"SHUT UP FAT-ASS I DON'T EVEN LIKE HER!"

"I'm not fat, and you must do if you throw up every time she talks to you." Megatron teased.

Arcee walks over to give Optimus a note.

"Here Optimus, this is for you!" Arcee hands him the note.

"BLEH!" Optimus throws up.

"EW!" Arcee gasped.

Arcee leaves and Optimus reads the note.

"HOLY SLAG, IT SAYS SHE WANTS TO MEET ME NEAR THE SEA OF RUST...AFTER SCHOOL!"

"Whoa, mabye you can kiss her." Ironhide said.

"This is going to be awesome!" Optimus giggled.

"But first we need to save Bumblebee." Megatron said.

Suddenly, Megatron farts again and a robot probe comes out of his butt to look around before going back in.

"LIKE NOW!" Ironhide snarled.

Soundwave looked around before sprouting a tentacle and made it pull the fire alarm. After this, the boys escaped school and left.

"WE GOT OUT OF SCHOOL! NO MORE SCHOOL TODAY! WE GOT OUT OF-"

_**CHOOF!**_

"UGH! GUYS, MY AFT!" Megatron yelled.

"Dude, is that going to keep happening?" Optimus asked.

"Apparently, that thing is linked up to the alien drones probably as some kind of signal." Ironhide said.

"What is? Guys I'm not under alien control!" Megatron scoffed.

Suddenly he's hit by a ray from space and starts singing.

"TRANSFORMERS...MORE THAN MEETS THE EYE! TRANSFORMERS...ROBOTS IN DISGUISE! AUTOBOTS WAGE THEIR BATTLE TO DESTROY, THE EVIL FORCES OF...THE DECEPTICONS!" Megatron sings before reverting back to normal.

"What the hell was that?" Optimus gasped.

"Don't know, but I'm more worried about-" Ironhide is cut off.

Suddenly an alien spaceship flies down to them.

"Ironhide look, it's them!" Optimus points at them.

"GIVE ME BACK MY BROTHER!" Ironhide charges his cannons and fires once.

It takes no effect but the ship fires back and hits Soundwave knocking him into a street before leaving.

"OH MY GOD THEY KILLED SOUNDWAVE!" Optimus yells.

"YOU BASTARDS! COME BACK HERE! COME BAAAAAAAAACK! DAMN IT! WE WERE SO CLOSE!" Ironhide stomps his foot.

"HEY LOOK I THINK SOUNDWAVE IS OKAY!" Optimus yells.

Soundwave waves to them before being trampled by the Insecticons. He gets up again but is run over by Barricade. The others walk over to him.

"Wow, poor Soundwave." Optimus said.

"Now do you believe us Megatron?"

"NO!"

"Megatron, they killed Soundwave!"

"HE'S NOT DEAD!"

"DUDE, SOUNDWAVE IS DEAD!" Optimus started beating Soundwave with a stick.

"Shut up you guys!"

"HE'S DEAD MEGATRON!" Ironhide kicks Soundwave in the head.

"PRIMUS DAMN IT I DIDN'T HAVE AN ANAL PROBE! SCREW YOU GUYS I'M GOING HOME!"

"GO ON AND GO HOME BUCKET-HEAD!"

"FRAGGER!"

Ironhide sighs and turns to Optimus.

"You're all I have left Optimus."

"No way dude, I got to go meet Arcee remember?"

"But-"

"No buts, come on!" Optimus said.

"SHIT!"

As they leave, they don't hear or see Soundwave alive and getting up groaning in pain. Later that night, Arcee had been told what happened and decided to help. If Megatron had a device planted in his aft, then mabye the drones were using him as part of their master plan. They end up dragging Megatron out of his house to the Sea of Rust where they tied him to a large piece of metal. Then they hid by a large rock.

"Why haven't they come yet?" Ironhide asked.

"I don't know, HEY MEGATRON! FART SOME MORE!" Optimus yelled.

"NO!"

"DO IT YOU SLAGGER!" Ironhide yelled.

"YOU KNOW WHAT, THAT DOES IT! NOW LISTEN, I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU GUYS DEALING WITH THINGS THAT ARE GOING IN, OR COMING OUT OF MY AFT! I'M SICK OF IT, IT'S COMPLETELY IMMATURE!" Megatron argues.

While he's talking, he farts fire one more time before a giant satellite dish comes out of his butt and signals the drones, who quickly appear in front of Ironhide and Optimus.

"Go on Ironhide, ask for your little brother back." Optimus nudged him.

"Okay, drones, you took my little brother this morning, Bumblebee. At first, I was happy you took him away, but I learned something today, that having a little brother is pretty special. Aw heck drones, can't you find it in your sparks to give him back to me? It would sure make my life brighter again." Ironhide began to tear up.

"That was beautiful dude."

"Did it work?"

"Nope they're leaving!"

"HEY YOU VISOR-EYED *********, WHAT THE **** IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU MUST BE SOME KIND OF ******* ******** TO IGNORE A CRYING CHILD!"

"WHOA DUDE!"

"YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ******* LIKE, YOU LIKE TO **** AND **** AND **** AND **** AND ****!"

"Hey Arcee, what's a ****?" Optimus asks Arcee who shrugs.

A spaceship door opens up revealing Bumblebee who jumps down into Ironhide's arms. Suddenly, the rope holding Megatron snaps and he is sucked into the spaceship screaming and cursing. All the alien drones and ships eventually leave after realizing that the Insecticons are the most intelligent species on Cybertron...thus proving that the alien drones are idiots.

"Well, I'm glad that's over with! Thanks for your help Arcee." Optimus smiled.

"Whatever dude." Arcee shrugged.

"Hey I didn't throw up!"

"Cool!"

They were about to kiss but Optimus threw up again. Of course then Optimus and Arcee spent some time alone talking about which Transformers series was the best. The next day, Optimus and Ironhide stood at the bus stop.

"Gee, the bus will be here any minute and Megatron still isn't here." Optimus said.

"Yeah, we're running out of friends!" Ironhide said.

Suddenly Soundwave shows up fine and he waves.

"Oh hey Soundwave!" Optimus greeted him.

"You're looking better!"Ironhide smiled.

Then Megatron crashes to the ground hard and groans. The others notice he now looks like he did after Unicron reconstructed him in Predacons Rising.

"Oh there you are Megatron!" Optimus said.

"Dude what happened?" Ironhide asked.

"Well, I had a dream where I was kidnapped by alien drones, they gave me dark energon and upgraded my body." Megatron said.

"Uh Megatron, you do have a new body!" Ironhide pointed out.

"Oh...is that a good thing or a bad thing?" Megatron asked.

Soundwave, Optimus and Ironhide cringe.

"Let's just say Bumblebee would piss his pelvic plating." Optimus sighs.

"Oh...well it will teach that scraplet not to follow us anymore!" Megatron smirked.

"F**K OFF MEGATRON!" Ironhide growled.

_**CUE SOUTH PARK ENDING CREDITS!**_

_**THE END!**_

* * *

_**Okay that was quicker than I thought. Oh well! Crap my claws hurt from typing all that!**_

_**Antasma: Mine don't!**_

_**Me: Shut up, you didn't typing anything!**_

_**Antasma: SCREEEEEEK!**_

_**Me: Anyways, hope you all enjoyed. Trust me, this was hard to do and took an entire week. But...I finished thank Primus!**_


End file.
